To my Parent/Guardian, please…

  • Talk things through with me in an open and honest way, remembering to listen to me.
  • How can I be included in the funeral, what things can I do on the day that will help me to say goodbye. Include me and give me choices.
  • Phone my school and inform them about what’s happened. Arrange a meeting so I can identify a member of staff who will be willing to support me throughout the day. Let me go back to school the same week if that’s what I want to do.
  • Allow me to say how I feel and do not be offended if I am angry with you or do not want to talk.
  • Please take into consideration that I may not grieve in the same way as you or my siblings.
  • If I look like I’m feeling lonely please ask me how I’m feeling.
  • Remind me that I am not to blame and that it’s not my fault.
  • Help me to remember my loved one. Talk to me about the happy times we shared. Help me not to forget my special person.
  • Let me keep something that belonged to my special person. Remind me that it’s important to keep it in a safe place.
  • Hug me, just hug me so I feel safe.
  • Tell me I’m doing nothing wrong when laughing and having fun. Tell me it doesn’t mean I’m forgetting about my loved one.
  • Tell me it’s normal to feel jealous of my friends who still have both parents.
  • Allow me time to be on my own, sometimes I may just need some time out.
  • If you see that I’m struggling in a way that I’m inflicting pain on myself, help me, talk to me about where we can get help and please don’t feel like you have failed as a parent.